Things I Can't Believe I Ever Said or Heard

This is another "list" post that I've developed over time. The list includes things I've heard or said that I never thought I'd hear or say ... and still can't believe I did.

1. "Honey, please stop fingerpainting in the wine." (said to my 2 year old son).

2. "Oh good, the power is back on. Now I can go back to sleep."

3. "Excuse me, but is your marinara sauce supposed to taste like cocktail sauce?" (Honestly, I just said this on June 20th. The comment was followed by a quick taste test, a new meal, and abundant apologies by the entire restaurant staff.)

4. Did you just take back the ripped bag I put in the wastebasket? ("Yes, I did," was Darling Husband's reply.) Did you pack your weekend clothes in it? ("Yes, I did.") "But it is ripped." ("And?")

5. "Honey, the baby just threw up on the cat. The cat doesn't seem to care."

6. "Because I said so." Honest to Pete, I said this, and it burned my tongue as it came out. The worst part of it was that I said it to my oldest niece when she was eight. I didn't even have to wait for my own children before those evil words of my mother's sprang from my lips.

7. "If you must talk with your mouth full, at least do so more clearly."

8. "Make up your mind. Are you wearing the bunny ears to church, or not?"

9. "Only after we have everything planned out do we have any hope of being spontaneous."

And, for all my trach mom friends, this one is for you:

10. Where is the baby's nose?" (Ok, this is a medical thing, so it isn't what you think ... but it still sounds good.)