>> Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Today, April 13, is National Blame Someone Else Day. If you don't believe me, Google it. If you don't like it ... hey ... not my fault. Blame someone else. And if you don't like this post, well that's your own fault for not having a good enough sense of humor to understand it. So there.
In the days leading up to National Blame Someone Else Day, I kept thinking, "I really need to make the best of this." I have to come up with some doozies. I mean, I can blame Entropy and Chaos for the state of my daily existence, but I do that every week. Where is the fun in that? Of course, I can blame my husband and child for a whole lot of things, but I feel unoriginal even thinking about it. I seriously could blame all the other bloggers out there on Twitter for why I don't have enough time to write my own blog, but I want something ... bigger. Bolder.
I want to figure out who I should blame for the fact that it has been raining or snowing for almost a solid year, with very few breaks. I want to blame someone else for the fact that I hate exercising so much but feel guilty when I don't do it.
I want to blame someone for the fact that I am not in Walt Disney World right now. Heck, let's be honest, I'd live in Walt Disney World if I could. No, not in Kissimmee, not in Orlando, in WDW itself. To be specific, I want to live at the Beach Club. Okay, to be fair, I would be pretty darn happy living at the Marriott World Center just outside the gates of Walt Disney World, I just wouldn't be able to walk to Epcot anytime I wanted. I would actually require wheels to get there. (On the other hand, the Marriott has some pretty amazing frozen drink concoctions at the main floor bar, and I wouldn't want to miss out on that, and they will be happy to drive me to Epcot.)
Okay, I've decided. I am going to find someone to blame for the fact that I don't live at the Beach Club next to Epcot or at Marriott World Center in Orlando. For free. Let's get that part clear right now. I want to live there for free, and I want free admission to all the WDW parks and to Islands of Adventure, along with unlimited FastPasses for Expedition Everest. Is that so much to ask? I can wait in line for the rest. I can be patient. I will share.
Now, whose fault could this possibly be that I do not have this dream life? I could begin blaming random people, like former President Bush, or President Obama, or Alan Greenspan ... but I think I need someone a little bit more realistic. You know, companies are legal persons in the United States ... so I'm thinking I could blame The Walt Disney Company and Marriott for their failure to recognize how simply fabulous I am and how enriched their properties would be simply by my presence.
I think I can only get away with this on National Blame Someone Else Day or I will likely get blacklisted by two of my favorite places on the planet! Just picture beautiful swimming pools, soothing hot tubs, fabulous food, warm sunshine, cool drinks, and a huge animotronic playground right next door. How much closer to heaven can one family get?
Then again ... if I lived there, where would I vacation? And, admittedly, I would have an awfully long way to drive to go to the Penn State games in the fall.
Maybe I should just stay with the old standby and blame the Easter Bunny because I'm overweight. I could blame my parents for making me short. I certainly could blame Toddler for my ever increasing amount of wrinkles as well as a fair amount of stretch marks.
I definitely need to blame someone for the fact that I have not put more than a handful of photos into an album since 2004. For that, I think I will blame my old boss. I'm sure there was something he made me do way back in 2004 that got me behind, and I never recovered. I can't recall what it was, but I'm sure it was refinancing something-or-other. Hey, it's as likely an answer as anything else.
For most everything else, I generally blame the internet because the possibilities are endless.