Toddler to English Dictionary

>> Friday, April 23, 2010

I have found recently that one of my primary occupations during the day is serving as Toddler's interpreter.  Other than Toddler, I seem to be the only one fully fluent in "Toddler" and even I get some things wrong from time to time.  (Toddler is not always patient in correcting me.)

So, in an effort to make my life somewhat easier, I have begun making a list of some of Toddler's more esoteric sayings.  Hopefully, as word spreads, my services will become less unique, and I might be able to get a bathroom break once in awhile without having to have an interpretive session through the door.  But even if it never works, I thought you might enjoy some of these.

TODDLER:  Oh no!  What you gonna do? ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  The video on demand TV cartoon has just ended and I want another one.

TODDLER:  I need to go get the blue car from the shoe garage.  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  I want to get my blue toddler-ride on toy from the garage and play with it in the driveway.

TODDLER:  I need help! My coat is stuck on a branch!  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  I would like to get my coat from the closet, but I can't reach it.

TODDLER:  I need help roll the booster seat!  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  I pushed my chair too far away from the table.  Please help me get back.

TODDLER:  anneeeya neeya, neeya  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  This jabbering is a meaningless phrase used to distract the adult from whatever he or she is asking Toddler that he does not want to answer.

TODDLER:  Uh, oh.  It's yucky!  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  I just pooped in my pants again.

TODDLER:  My nose is stuck!  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  (1) My nose is stuffed up; or (2) I'm bored and I want to play with the tissues.

TODDLER:  Get off my nose!  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  I'm happy with my boogers where they are.  Leave me alone.

TODDLER:  My finger hurts.  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  I have a piece of nail dangling/rough nail on my finger and I would like it off, please.

TODDLER:  Go away/Go downstairs now  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  I'm about to throw a temper tantrum.

TODDLER:  Gotcha!  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  A word you say when you grab onto something.  In context:  Child:  "Gotcha!"  Adult:  "Yep, you got me."  Child:  "Not got me.  Gotcha!" 

TODDLER:  I said yes!  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  Why do you get to be the boss, again?

TODDLER:  Puleeze?  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  I don't understand why I can't have what I want.

TODDLER:  Fre-frey  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  (1) french fry; or (2) flashlight

TODDLER:  What a mess! ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  I just dumped a box full of a lot of things.

TODDLER:  I want to color crayons. ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  I want to hand you crayons and make you write my name and numbers over and over in various colors while I scribble next to you.

TODDLER:  I want listen Ooh Aah.  ENGLISH TRANSLATION: I want to listen to my Disney Channel CD.

TODDLER:  Hello everybody on the TV.  ENGLISH TRANSLATION:  I want to listen to my children's music songs on the CD player in the family room (as opposed to the one in the car).

Well, that's about as far as I've managed to date.  The problem with Toddler is that, like the child that invented it, it is constantly changing.  This list will be out of date by the time you are done reading it -- tomorrow at the latest.


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