Cats Have a Scary Evil Eye

>> Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Today was an interesting day. And by "interesting" you should read, "Boy am I glad I don't live there." It all started last night when I figured out (belatedly) that the cats were out of the good cat food. Now, I didn't say out of cat food. I said out of the *good* cat food. In other words, the dry cat food plate was licked clean, and the wet food bowl with the "substandard" cat food was being openly and obnoxiously disdained.

With three cats that barely get along on the best of days, running low on the good cat food means big trouble. There were swats, and growls, and cats chasing each other and mysterious unseen objects up and down the stairs. Of course, it was 11:00 PM at night when I realized the problem. By then, the cats were pacing the kitchen looking for an excuse to fight.

By morning, I must say, they had formed a truce with each other and were standing in a row eyeing me. Well let me tell you, I got really nervous, really quick. The last time I ever saw the three of them acting together, someone human was in big trouble. I had a funny feeling if I didn't get them their good food, and pretty darn quick, someone else would be pretty big trouble pretty soon.

So, off we went to the pet store in self defense. I thought this would be a good escape. No more yellow, glaring eyes, just me, the toddler, and some shopping.

Well, the so-called "toddler" (which, I have just learned, is a synonym for fire engine siren) proceeded to tell me and the entire store what an awful night he had last night, and how tired, miserable, and inconsolable he really was. Yeesh. I've never seen so many people staring at one raging two year old. If I could bottle that drama, I could sell it to Broadway and make a million. It all started when I said the sippy cup had to stay in the car. Now, I am not by any stretch a germaphobe. I believe in the 3-second rule and practice it regularly. But even I have limits. This pet store is one of those "pets are welcome" kind of places, and unlike the feet on my floor, I KNOW where those dogs have been. Yuck. So, outside the store we have a sippy cup tantrum. What happened to cause the tantrum after we got into the store is anybody's guess. To know for sure, we would need one of those interpetive collars from the movie UP, but calibrated to "Two Year Old". All I know is that it had something to do with the fish tanks and it lasted off and on until we got back into the car for the drive home. I guess I'll never know.

Things are changing around here rapidly, which can make anyone grumpy, or giddy, as the case may be. We dismantled the crib and replaced it with a toddler bed. This move had dramatically reduced the morning and post-nap screaming, but it has significantly increased the phantom appearances of toddlers around the house at odd hours. I call it "drive by toddlering." Watch out when you start hearing the "thump, thump, thump" coming at you. It might be the Borrowers in the walls. It might be a drive by toddlering. Then again, it might be those cats.


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