More Things I Can't Believe I Ever Said or Heard

>> Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Way back in July, I posted a list of "Things I Can't Believe I Ever Said or Heard." Since then, the list has grown again, and I thought it was about time we revisited that topic. Of course, like every parent whose child is learning to talk, fully half of these involve Toddler. Feel free to skip every other one if you are strict about limiting exposure to the very young.

1. While in the car, one parent said to the other, "No, honey. I think Toddler said, 'dinner's hot' not, 'tater tot.'" The other parent responds, "Well, they sound the same."

2. Yelled from the bleachers at a Penn State game, "Ref, we ain't doing nothing they're not doing!" Wow, where did I get that grammar? I know better, but I said it anyway. If you think about it, correct grammar would sound muffled and wordy and wouldn't have carried to the field anyway, so that is my excuse.

3. While in the car on another occasion, one parent said to the other, "I can't tell if he is saying, 'me-ow, me-ow' or 'yum-my, yum-my,' can you?"

4. "As we are all gathering, let's gather." (Randomly overheard at the start of a meeting.)

5. During a football game, DH said, "Hey! Listen! Toddler is saying, "Run, run, run, pass." I responded, "No, honey, I think he said, "It's raining." DH responded, "Well, that does make a bit more sense."

6. "Cat, when the child says he's had enough hugs, you need to walk away." (This would be Houdini, of course.)

7. Mommy was driving Toddler around town one day doing errands, when she missed a turn. Mommy says, "Awwww." Toddler pipes up from the backseat, "Oh, dammit!" (Oh, dear! I guess I say that a lot more than I think. We need a pink blushing smilie face here.) Mommy promptly turned on the Toddler music CD and said nothing else for awhile.

8. Said by a husband to a wife, "I know I used to make fun of you for taking your pants off when you do aerobics, but it really does make it a whole lot easier." We'll protect their identities to save them too much pointing and snickering.

9. Said to Toddler, "Sweetie, please pick up Daddy and put him back on the table."

10. Overheard on ESPN, "The zebras had a rough time in Happy Valley this weekend."

I think I'll leave these last three to your imagination.


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