You Know You Want My Life

>> Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Oh, have I had a day!  I learned so much.

I learned that Toddler finds the cabinet in our kitchen that won't stay closed to be a real personal threat that he intends to beat into submission.

I learned that when it comes to linens and towels, some documentary television company may soon make a weekly special about us.  I threw away/donated at least three sets of sheets (I lost count).  As for the towels, we are parting with three (possibly four) sets of worn and frayed towels.  And by "sets," I mean two of everything you need to run a bathroom properly.

Despite all this throwing away, I beg you, please do not get us any new sheets for Christmas.  We really don't need it.  Really.

I learned that Toddler stil thinks vacuuming is a game because he has started bringing his toy Dusty the Talking Vacuum Cleaner into wherever I am sweeping and "helping" me.  I am truly lamenting not buying him one of those little kid sweepers that really works, especially since I think our vacuum cleaner is quite possibly on its last legs ... er ... wheels.  When the almost-20 year old hand held Dirt Devil has more suction, I should be a little concerned, right?  Or am I over reacting?

I learned that I need a new hairdryer immediately.  Mine bit the dust this morning.  Well, to be fair, it technically still functions, if you can handle the loud helicopter noise and only want the airflow on "low". 

I have learned to suffer for fashion.  I have been attempting scrubbing and cleaning in my brand new capris style pants, cut in the newest fashion.  I have to say that all day I've felt like my pants were falling down and my butt crack was showing.  It wasn't, and neither was my underwear, but still ....

I have learned that Toddler is entering a new phase of random engineering experimentation.  Toddler has developed a new trick where he takes his Mickey Mouse toy airplane ride on toy (which we love) and drives it into the walls to see how much contact is necessary to stop the propeller blades from spinning.  Boys.  Destruction, love of cars, and fascination with dirt and trains is all apparently bred into them at a very basic level.  Everything else is a crap shoot.

Speaking of crap, I learned from a pediatrician's office all the possibly pyschological and non-serious reasons why a toddler doesn't poop for three days and what we are supposed to do about it. (I know! I just can't get away from these potty stories!  Believe me, I am as sorry as you if not more so!)

I have learned that I love Amazon, because if I want to post a picture of something very specific, and my camera battery is dead, and my phone is MIA, or if I am just plain lazy, I can still put up a picture without having to leave my seat.  Not that I would do that, or anything ... and certainly not in the next paragraph.

Now, of all the things I learned today, there is one thing I have not learned.  I have not learned why I found this book buried underneath an entire stack of towels on the third shelf from the bottom in the bathroom closet.  No, the closet is no where near the pot, so that can't be it.

I'm wondering if I can sneak it into the garage sale, or if I have to return it to the only person in the house it could possibly belong to.  Even better, he can have it back if he tells me how it got there.  Maybe that will solve everything.


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