What Happens When You Hit the Tipping Point
>> Friday, January 22, 2010
Hello. This is Entropy, here. I've taken over this blog today to leave you a message. Karin is unable to attend to her computer because I have tricked her. Up until now, she has spent tremendous energy trying to keep the kid and husband mess from taking too strong a hold in her family room and kitchen.
Last week she got a brilliantly stupid idea to focus on the cleaner rooms in the house (such as the living room and dining room) and keep them perfect while moving all unclaimed or homeless things into the kitchen and leaving the family room to fend for itself. This idea has backfired.
Little did she know that I put a spell on Toddler's toys, compelling him to dump them from the toybox all over the floor. Whenever any adult tries to help him put them away, the toys trigger him to yell, ON THE FLOOR! ON THE FLOOR!"
I have also put a virus on certain of the late-arriving Christmas items that causes them to duplicate every not-put-away thing they come in contact with. So, the newspapers stacked on the floor become double. The toys still in the box for Christmas have multiplied as well. The boxes waiting to be burned in the fireplace have absolutely gotten out of hand, and you don't even want to know what I did to their garage.
Needless to say, I'm not too sure when you will see Karin again, as I last left her drowning in a pile of burnable boxes, unmatched tupperware (which also is multiplying) and badly sorted laundry.
I cannot, however, claim responibility for Toddler learning how to remove the cover to the access panel in his bedroom that leads underneath the master bathroom bathtub. As amusing as that might have been (had I thought of it), that kind of stunt isn't really part of my job description. We will have to leave blame for that on the poor planning of the family that chose that particular room for Toddler's room, or on the builder who didn't build the panel very well.
As for the manchurian candidate theory ... I will remain silent for now, but I will say that I have been known to use manchurian-type candidates in the past and it would not be unheard of in this day and age.
Be wary.
I am real.
Sincerely,
Entropy.
2 comments:
Dear Entropy,
I think I speak for all when I say that you should abandon your wayward lifestyle and cease torturing our dear friend Karin (and her family by default). I suggest an extended vacation at the home of a certain Martha Stewart - you will find this to be your greatest challenge yet.
Sincerely,
Adrian
PS - When you leave for Martha's, please stop by my house and take your twin brother with you.
Dear ASK,
I responded in detail in the next post.
Yours truly,
Entropy.
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