Non Sequiter Hot Dogs

My Toddler starts talking the minute he wakes up in the morning and only stops when he is unconscious.

Let me say this again just so we are all on the same page.

He talks all the time. All. The. Time.

Now don't misunderstand me. I love to hear him talk. The child has absolutely no filter between the thoughts in his brain and what is coming out of his mouth. While I don't recommend it, this type of affliction makes parenting from another room quite a bit easier. I can be typing a blog entry, and I hear him say, "I stand up! I sit down." If I hear him say something like, "I touch Christmas Tree," or, "ooh, sticky tape!" I know the time has come for me to say something.

Another communication afflication of my child (and probably most toddlers) is the art of the non sequiter. A "conversation" with him is not like a conversation with a brick wall so much as it is a conversation with a random word generator.

Let me give you a few examples.

Me: "Honey, do you have to go potty?"

Toddler: "I have a red car!"

Or this:

Me: "Toddler, come here, please!"

Toddler: "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!"

Me: "Come here!"

Toddler: (to his toy) "Hey look! It's Mommy!"

Or one of my favorites:

Me: "Toddler, do you want to color crayons?"

Toddler: "ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE!"

Of course, every time he gets into trouble (read, "gets caught"), and he starts to cry, the conversation goes something like this:

Me: "Toddler, stop it!"

Toddler: "Stop it! Stop it! Back to bed! Be quiet! Me want Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. No Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. No Handy Manny. No Little Einsteins. No Pooh. No Handy Manny Tools. Back to bed!"

Yeesh, to listen to this you'd think I actually sent the kid to bed as punishment. Actually, once, about 2 months ago, I sent him to bed because he was so tired he was acting out. I've been hearing about it ever since.

Of course, as you might have guessed, the great mouse that lives in Florida has a big influence in this house. This child sees mouse ears everywhere, including places that no one employed by Disney ever envisioned or intended. He found a model of the Good Year Blimp made around 1970-something, with three wheels on the bottom.

Yes ... my child looked at this and saw Mickey Mouse.





Of course, when he looked at me for confirmation, I was at a loss for words. The best I could come up with was, "Well, yes, in a weird sort of way."

He probably answered me with something like, "Hey look! It's Houdini!"

Just think -- when he is a teenager and refusing to talk to me at all, I will miss these days of listening to him in his bed at night singing, "It's the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse! Come inside, it's fun inside!" and talking about chicken and hot dogs when I ask him where his shoes are.

At least he is talking to me.

And while we're looking at the bright side, he still thinks Skittles and M&M candies are "balls" and coins are "buttons." I didn't teach him this, and I really did try to correct him, but he is not interested. After I thought about things for a little while, I decided that I like it this way. Balls and buttons. If we all thought of them this way, chances are we would be happier.