A New Sitcom? Perhaps Not.

>> Thursday, December 3, 2009

I don't need to be wasting my time actually writing a humor blog. I just need to hire a videographer to follow me around all day. Laurel and Hardy made it big on way less than what happens around this house.

To begin with, I just walked up the stairs three separate times with the sole intention of getting some medicine to put in my travel bag.

Three times I came downstairs without it.

While I was upstairs one of those times, I decided to try to put away some medicine that belongs upstairs. I put it in the cabinet, and it fell out. I put it in again, and something else (on another shelf) fell out. When I put it in the third time, I seriously considered jamming it in there and slamming the door really quickly to leave the problem for the next person, but then I remembered that the next person is likely to be me -- or if it isn't, the person who finds it will just let it fall and leave it for me anyway, so all my solution would do is delay the inevitable.

I do have to admit that the "propping things against the medicine cabinet door" is a great technique to use in your guest bathroom right before you throw a party. If you prop it just right, you will find out which one of your (alleged) friends is snooping. I've not yet caught anyone doing this in my house, but that could be because there is no medicine cabinet in my "party" bathroom and it just doesn't seem fair to springload the under the sink compartment where the toilet paper is. I mean, what if there is a genuine TP emergency? Which one of us is the "alleged" friend then?

Moving back to my spectacularly organized day, by the time I got back from my multiple trips upstairs for the same medicine, I found that I had given Toddler just enough time to find and open all the plastic tubs of magnetic letters, plastic eggs, and wooden blocks. All the contents were spread in a nice clumpy sheet of clutter from one end of the room to another. I figured I'd pick them up with Toddler shortly, because I had more important, clock-related things to do, like potty time. I managed to take Toddler to the potty on schedule -- the clock's schedule, but unfortunately not his. I missed his schedule by a few moments. Well, that can't go on video.

(In that prior paragraph, I first typed "wooden blogs" instead of wooden blocks. I wonder if that is some kind of message from the internet about my writing style today?)

So, with a day like today, what could make it even more dramatic? I'll tell you.

While I was typing this entry, I heard Toddler find another box and dump its very noisy contents. I don't even have the slightest idea what must have been in that box except he keeps saying something about "cars". I didn't think cars could be so noisy. I finally managed to put on my makeup, and somehow I splattered it onto my white turtleneck.

And I have to go to the dentist today.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.


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