I Wouldn't Pick Me To Sit Beside If I Were You

>> Monday, December 14, 2009

I have a confession to make. When it comes to solemn occasions, I am the last person you want to be sitting next to. Honestly, I am a nice person, and I have a great deal of respect and admiration for solemn occasions. I had a pretty formal wedding myself, and I'm a big believer in ceremony.

Nonetheless ...

Weird things happen to me in solemn occasions. (You might want to take a moment to reread what happened when Toddler and I went to a funeral. Now why I thought taking him was a good idea still escapes me, but I thought it was some place we (and by that I mean I) needed to be, and he had to come.) The strangest thoughts run through my head, and I can't control them. The best I can possibly do is control myself, and sometimes that takes all the effort I have.

Take this story, for example. A few weeks ago I was a participant in a baptism ceremony. This was a dangerous choice, but I thought I could handle it. Before I even got into the sanctuary, though, visions of The Gilmore Girls were flashing through my head. I don't know how many of you were fans, so I'll give the long version. Some of you already know where I'm going with this "baptism" and "Gilmore Girls" reference, but you'll just have to be patient while the rest of the class catches up.

At first I wrote this brief but wordy description of the relevant scene in the show, but then I woke up (think "I Should Have Had a V-8" slap) and remembered someone probably posted it already on the internet. Sure enough, I found it at the WB. You can view it here.

Okay, are we all caught up now? Do you get where I'm going with this? Here I am, about ready to participate in this baptism and answer solemn questions, and all I can think about is Sookie saying, "Lorelai, why aren't you renouncing Satan?" I'm fervently hoping that my mind won't wander, and I'll respond appropriately and in a timely manner. Then I have this flash of what would happen if I didn't, and it involved DH slapping me on the back of the head and stage-whispering, "Renounce him! Renounce him!"

Needless to say I went through the whole ceremony with a barely controlled smile that was constantly on the verge of a giggle.

While we are "true confessing" I do admit to nearly lighting my veil on fire at my own wedding with the flame from the Unity Candle.

I also admit to playing a singing sheep in a Christmas play a long, long time ago ... and being fairly unable to excise that memory every yuletide season.

My whole life works this way.

I hope you are glad that yours doesn't.

Stay tuned, and I will tell you stories of the people who made me this way, and what happens when we all attend solemn occasions together.


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