Baby's Journal, Days 4 and 5 -- or More Memories ... You Get The Idea

>> Monday, February 22, 2010

At the time I sit down to write this blog entry, The Weather Channel is telling me that 4-8 inches of snow are on the way. Yes. More snow to cap off this record breaking week. Okay, whoever pissed off Jack Frost, I want a written apology sent right now, with a carbon copy posted on your blog immediately. This weather is getting ridiculous, and you (whoever you are) need to fix it. Right now.

The good news is the US Postal Service is faithfully delivering my mail every day. I can't be as flattering about the delivery service that is holding my new computer hostage. But ... My mother told me if I can't say anything nice ... well ... let's just journey back to sunny Las Vegas, shall we? The weather is so much more pleasant there.

Baby’s Travel Log -- Day 4, Tuesday, transcribed on this, the following Tuesday:

Today I had it. We all went to Excalibur and had brunch at a cafe.

Baby's Journal Day 4

Mom kept looking at that Blackberry thing again. She did that for a little while at the Venetian yesterday, too, darn her. And, she fed me at the cafe while I was hungry, but it took her a long time to figure out that I didn't want what she was feeding me -- I wanted the other jar. I wanted to eat green today, not orange. How could she not know? Aren’t mothers supposed to know that stuff?

Later the grownups kept taking turns playing the slots and playing with me. When it was Mom's turn, I decided to take matters into my own hands. She was burping me on her shoulder, and I spotted the Blackberry. It was in the chest pocket of her jeans jacket, right below me. So I went for it. BLAAAAHHHHH right down the pocket. I soaked it good, and it STOPPED WORKING for awhile, even after Mom and Dad took it apart to dry it off. YAY! Score one for the baby! After that Mom bought a new shirt and jacket. As Grandma is so fond of observing, that formula smells even worse coming out then it does going in.

Then we went to New York, New York, where the grownups once again played “Hand Off The Baby” so they could get in some good slot-playing time. I kept trying to nap, but the people screaming on the roller coaster kept scaring me, so that was kind of a bust.

Baby's Journal Day 4

Meanwhile, all the grownups kept complaining about not getting any sleep, but it wasn’t because they were up all night enjoying the Vegas night life. No … they were futzing with my equipment, which kept fritzing and retaining water. Last night supposedly was better but not great. I wouldn't know, because, just like always, I slept like a rock. My alarm went off about 4x an hour, even on the lower setting Dad programmed, instead of 6x an hour. Hey, it gave them an extra 5 minutes of sleep each time. What's wrong with that?

Don’t my parents really know how to have fun?


Baby's Travel Log, Day 5, Wednesday, transcribed on this, the following Tuesday:

Well, the O2 monitor is everyone’s least favorite piece of equipment. When I sleep, it always says I’m not breathing well, but the doctors say it is lying. Dad hates it, and our friend has threatened to throw it into the pool. Let's just say that she isn't the first one to threaten to do serious damage to it. The "darn thing" as Dad calls it when he is being his most polite, was going off about 4x an hour, and at least 1x an hour, someone has to get up and fix the cord, or empty the water from my hose, or re-attach the sensor on another spot.

Well, finally on Tuesday (last night) I had a great night – my levels were 97 or above all night long (where they probably always are, just the dumb monitor can’t figure it out). I think Mom and Dad finally SLEPT, which is a good thing because I like it when they are well rested and happy. They play a lot more that way and are a whole lot less surly. I'm sure a wide awake Mom would have known yesterday that I wanted to eat green not orange.

I got to stay at the time share today with our friend for the afternoon, yay!!!! I like that. Mom and Dad and Grandma went off to play some slots without having to play "Pass the Baby" or play games like, "Let's See How Fast We Can Run the Baby Through the Casino So Security Doesn't Notice He is Here." I rather like that game, but it seems to make Mom and Dad a little bit bad-tempered. Having to go back to the security desk when I threw my blankie on the floor during one of this trips and didn't mention it for about an hour was not another good moment for us.

I understand that Mom had a good day at the slot machines in Treasure Island today. I had a good day in the hammock with our friend and all by myself. It was my very first hammock. Unlike the Aflac Duck, I did not flip out of it. Whew!

Well, that brought back memories. Our office tech dude told me I was the first person to ever file a request for a replacement Blackberry claiming, "Death by Puking." He thought about trying to repair it by drying it with a special machine, but after he found out what the "moisture" was, he decided to junk it. Can you really blame him? Now if only I had a new outfit every single time that happened ... well ... I guess I'm still dreaming.


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