Why Am I Not Rich?

>> Monday, October 26, 2009

For today's entry, I've decided to go back and re-read all my prior blog posts. I was astonished to discover how many times I have had a great make-it-rich scheme or idea. I mentioned some of this back on my post about Bread Bowls, and I decided to make a quick count.

1. I first mentioned the idea that I could become rich in my post "What Do You Mean 'Challenging'?" In that post I described that wealth would come if I could actually catch my coffee cups multiplying in the cupboard. You know I'm right. Yours do it too.

2. Okay, this one isn't exactly about making it rich, but I did make a very fiscally responsible post discussing the amount of tax and charitable dollar waste that we are suffering because of the de-planetization of Pluto in my post "Some Things Just Shouldn't Change" (De-planetization is my own new word. Do you like it?)

3. In my post "May I Suggest Some Improvements?" I did not specifically mention money, but I did suggest some improvements to the GPS devices on the market that, if developed appropriately, would make a lucrative investment. I should not have been so quick to give those ideas away.

4. I have a plan for making millions bootlegging mayonaisse in the event our food regulations ever become hopelessly absurd, as I mention in "I Wish, I Wish, I Wish....".

5. A waterproof hoodie with a pull down waterproof facemask, for rain drench football games, was my idea for Nike and Champion (to pay me for, of course), in "We're Ever True To You".

6. I have invented a new kind of fast food restaurant in "Drive Through Pizza" that is bound to become a major franchise.

7. In "Bread Bowls" I reveal the secret to fortune-making soup. Since then, DH has decided to add to this inspiration by branching out into chili in a bread bowl. I might have to share the profits with him.

8. While I didn't specifically talk about marketing strategies, in "Do You Routine?" I describe the necessity in my life of learning to find the source code for humans. Just imagine how much money I could make if I actually ever located it?

More times then I can accurately link you to, I make reference to the invention of a collar like the one in the movie "UP" that will translate the thoughts of pets and toddlers. Clearly, this is the finest idea yet, but I don't think I've the capacity to build one.

Now, all I need is to find a backer.... I know I can make this work. Right?


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