Mini Warps in Space/Time

>> Friday, October 23, 2009

DH and I have been noticing something, recently. I was going to say that it was something, "unusual" but maybe not. Maybe it is very common, and you all figured it out by now, and I'm the only one left to marvel at the vagaries of physics in this world.

I'm talking, of course, about soda. (That's "pop" for those of you west of Pittsburgh.)

My favorite kind of soda (pop) is Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi. The problem with this particular product, though, is that all of the cans are sold with a hole in the bottom. I open it up, I take a few sips, and it is gone. If the cans didn't have this defect, I think DWCP is all I would ever buy. (Well, unless Diet Cherry Zero was on sale.) As it is, I buy a few 12 packs of Diet Pepsi, Diet Coke, Coke Zero, Pepsi One, just to make sure we have some soda (pop) in the house for when guests come and the DWCP has all disappeared.

On the complete other end of the spectrum is ginger ale and root beer. For some reason, the manufacturers of these products have managed to find the miracle of self-filling containers. You drink some, and it magically refills itself so the can lasts the entire day.

Now, I can neither see the hole in the can of DWCP, nor can I catch any ginger ale or root beer refilling itself. And yet, I know these things happen. It is the only explanation that makes any real sense.

Of course, you can make some argument that I drink faster when I like something more, but that just doesn't fit the facts. For the DWCP, that can is empty almost as soon as I open it -- basically, using this theory, I open it, chug it, put it down, and reach over to find it empty. With the ginger ale and root beer, I open it, drink, put it down, drink, put it down, drink, and on and on and on and on. So, rather then drinking "faster," or "slower," I'm forced to conclude that either I am taking "bigger" and "smaller" sips of said beverages, or there are a different number of sips in the different kinds of cans. I think we can all agree that the latter is far more plausible than the former.

DH and I agree on the DWCP. Some beverages we dispute, but for the most part, we agree. He also adds that orange and grape soda have fewer sips per can, and I agree. The can with the absolute most sips of all, insofar as I have been able to tell, is club soda with quinine. The second largest number of sips is in Peach flavored Fresca.

I think if we want to understand the mysteries of the universe and create one big "Theory of Everything" in physics, then the scientists examining black holes and similar space/time distorting properties of the cosmos need to also take a good look at soda cans.


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