The Ever Growing List of Things I Have Learned

>> Monday, June 14, 2010

Summer is here, and I have compiled yet another list of "Things I Have Learned".  If I try to explain, I think everyone will just be shaking their heads in disbelief, so I think I will have to let the list speak for itself.

1.  One compound that is way stronger than either super glue or gum on a shoe is wet styrofoam package peanuts.

2.  There are some lamps (especially ones with fan attachments) that just make the new, energy efficient, squiggly light bulbs look stupid.  Really.  Stupid.  I'll post one for Wordless Wednesday one of these days.

3.  Tylenol with codeine makes me itch, a lot, when I take the full dose.  When I take the full dose, though, I no longer care that I itch at all.  I'm trying to figure out if learning these facts cancel each other out or not.  I suspect they do.

4.  The trickle of water into the fish tank in the next room can sound eerily like theme music and people talking when the house is very quiet.

5.  The more detailed and precise my lists are in preparation for leaving town, the greater the likelihood I will end up in the hospial or urgent care ... twice.

6.  Whenever it rains, the grill cover will be on the ground in a heap to catch the water and form a puddle from which the outdoor cats will drink and the mosquitos will breed.  I have not yet figured out how or why the grill cover ends up on the ground like this, because while the sun is shining, the cover is securely atop the grill, and the fastenings are too snug for the wind to carry it away.  (A mystery, for sure.  I guess there is more I haven't learned in this one than I have learned.)

7.  My son still doesn't understand how it is that I got to be boss and not him, and he would like a reconsideration from whoever it is that made the decision.  I keep telling him to give it up, because I have 34 more years of practice being stubborn than he does, but so far I'm getting no traction with the argument.

8.  I am on the fast backslide to 40, and many of you still think you would card me at first glance.  While I appreciate the sentiment, it's crow's feet, people.  You can't fake that.  Plus, now that I am a parent of a child in school (preschool, but still ...) I need that post-21 beverage more than ever.  Don't put obstacles in my way. I know you don't really think I look under 21.  You are just being nice.  You think I look under 30.  Thanks.  I can live with that, if you pass the wine, please.

9.  I'm actually starting to like some of the children's music in the CD player.  I don't even turn it off when Toddler goes to bed anymore.  Either my gall bladder was a kiddie music hater, or I'm going nuts.  Both options are equally plausible.

10.  I ate a piece of pizza yesterday, and I did not perish in the absence of my gall bladder.  I am very happy to learn this.

Hope you all are having a good week.


Dazee Dreamer June 14, 2010 at 10:30 AM  

So glad you were able to enjoy your pizza.

Tammy P. June 14, 2010 at 10:55 PM  

Ha! Great list, Karin ...

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