The Real Physics Forces -- A Gateway to Understanding the Universe

>> Thursday, March 31, 2011

I just saw a cover of a magazine that said that scientists either need to completely rewrite the big bang theory or abandon it altogether.  Per magazines, learning documentaries and articles the world over, our understanding of the universe is in serious jeopardy.  "Most of Our Universe is Missing!" warns a BBC television episode. 

Certainly, we don't understand how or why the great cosmic structures of the universe move and behave the way they do.  We also, apparently, don't understand the interaction of matter and invisible/unknown/theoretical particles.  We only seem to know -- or are slowly becoming aware -- of how very much we don't know.

Well, I'm not quite sure what all the mystery is about.  My friends and family and I are very much aware of a whole host of forces of nature that the physicists have neglected to discuss in any of their cosmological theories.  What is the power of a supernova when compared to the explosive capacity of a hungry child that missed a nap?  What is electromagnetism when compared to the compulsion of a shedding cat to find the one person in the room with allergies?  How can the strong and weak nuclear forces stand up to the attraction between dripping paint and the one spot of carpet that is not covered by cloth?  What is the measure of gravity considering the adhesive quality of cat fur to cloth?  What of cosmic black holes when there is one that exists in the clothes dryer of every American household?

What and how, indeed?

I think the secrets of the universe, and all of its unknown forces and powers, maybe explained not in the laboratories of great universities, but in the kitchens and living rooms of the average home.  Let's consider some of the great forces that we encounter and accept every day, without questioning their power or their origin.  Perhaps these are the forces that today's physicists need to better understand:

1.  The mysterious connection between white fuzzy particles and dark carpet (and vice versa)
2.  The nearly inconquerable attraction between a household pet and the one piece of furniture s/he is not allowed to climb
3.  The remarkable adhesive quality of cat snot  (Okay, this isn't a common one, but trust me on this.  The effect is more potent than chewing gum.)
4.  The mystical contact between grease and women's tops
5.  The impressive relationship between spaghetti and white things
6.  The ability of a person severely allergic to poison ivy to miraculously stumble on the only poison ivy leaf in a hundred mile radius
7.  The attraction between dirt and children's faces
8.  The magnetism between young children and puddles
9.  The mythical and powerful workings of the forces of Entropy and Chaos on a household

I could go on, and on, and on ... and I'm sure you could as well.  Any of us could.

Now, I am also sure that several of these phenomena can be combined into one cohesive explanation, such as a new attractive/repulsive force similar to electromagnatism, but in order to reach these cosmic conclusions, physicists will need to examine the phenomena in more detail.  For some reason, they have failed to do so before now, which is an oversight that I believe has contributed to the disasterous state of our understanding of the cosmos that we are encountering today.

In the spirit of scientific cooperation, I will make the ultimate sacrifice of opening my home to investigation, and this blog is my open invitation to the leading experimental and cosmological physicists. 

I eagerly await your reply.

1 comments:

okiewife March 31, 2011 at 5:03 PM  

I refuse to contemplate these mysteries of the universe on my designated day off. And furthermore that black scuff mark on my kitchen floor will just have to stay there until next Tuesday, when my cleaning girl will cheerfully remove it. No physicist could find me in my wilderness hideaway any way. :)

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